mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
