So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
she was so not down for the gang bang
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
