used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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