i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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