Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
