Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
