It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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