Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
