Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
