We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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