I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
