It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
