is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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