her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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