My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
