great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
