where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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