I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
