Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
