Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
she looked like the before picture.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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