the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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