Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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