Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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