Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
