i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
