I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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