I'm laying in your front yard are you home
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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