My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
