So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
