Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
honey bunches of taint.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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