I'm laying in your front yard are you home
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
