I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Tornado booty call.. dedication
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
