the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
