69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
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