oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
