Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I want to have your abortion
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
