he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
