The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
