Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
