just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
