i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
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