I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Randomize
