So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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