I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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