Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
