JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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