I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
