i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
