I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Randomize