Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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