Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
