how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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