I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
