Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
