My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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