why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize