He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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