1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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