absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
