Whod you bang
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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